Last night, I had 2 dreams. In the first, my dad had just built a boat and my house was up in the hills beside a waterfall. He had dammed up part of it to create a pool to swim in, with rocks and sand forming an enclosure at the side of the river before the waterfall. It was launch day and dad had some explosives wired to the dam, he was going to blow it up and take the boat into the open. He pressed the button and detonated it.

However, my neighbour's family was frolicking in the pool, and some got swept away when the barrier was destroyed. 2 men went down the waterfall to find 2 children who had been caught by the current. About an hour later, they returned up the waterfall, it wasn't really a big one to begin with, plus it had breaks and landings in between on the way down, so they climbed from there. Dad got a scolding from the neighbours, after that we all smiled and went to look for the boat. Dunno where it went to, hahaha

Next, I dreamt of snakes and alligators. My house had tanks containing hamsters and fish and snakes as well as an alligator. I was playing with the hamster when my hand slipped and it fell into the snake's tank. Said snake was something like a python, I reached over and tried to rescue the hamster. Doing this caused the glass tank to topple over and the snake slithered out.

In my haste to recapture the snake, I tripped over the alligator tank and somehow the alligator was released too. LOL. I caught the snake, hit it a few times on its head to ''dumb it down'' and hopefully make it abit retarded so as to slow down its reflexes. Thereafter, I tied it to the window grille with a double knot to make sure it didn't come loose. The snake was like bobbing up and down while trying to escape even though I'd tied its body and knotted it around the grille. Throughout all these escapades, I think I was the only one at home. Nobody to scream or react when the animals were let loose. Me, I was calm as a mirror.

Traipsed up and down the room, caught the alligator. Same thing, tied its tail to the window grille so it was like hanging beside the snake. Called the pest control/ zoo/ police authorities to come and take away all the animals 'cos I was feeling too exhausted to take care of all the animals anymore. Then all turned black and I went into deep sleep, and then I woke up.

Interesting huh, never thought I would use this as a dream journal. Plus it's now like 11.20pm at night, yet I can still remember this morning's dreams so vividly. What the dreams mean, I don't know but hey, it's fun enough to come back here and read it next time just for memories' sake. In addition, I dreamt all these in like 7 and a half hours. I slept about 12.10pm, woke around 7.45am. Kind of a "fruitful" sleep indeed. Not bad, my imagination and controlling my lucid dreams seems to be improving of sorts. teehee

Tomorrow is the 4th week of school already. AHHHHH. I'm so inspired, I just want to lie on my bed and do nothing. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. it's like almost midnight, can't shout out loud so here will have to do. I'm tired. I miss holidays. How is it that 80% of my poly mates wanted the holidays to end? I wished it were longer but ah, that would waste time. sigh.

It's in times like these where I remember the quirky things. Like Abraham Lincoln; I have been driven many times upon my knees in the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. ah wth, i am a handful of complaints. and i'm a little teapot short and stout.

Well, thus concludes the 4th lesson for my younger dg on counting the cost of being a disciple. 2 more to go, at least I'm glad that they absorbed quite a bit of what we discussed and shared over the past month or so. BB is resuming also, time to get back into normal parades after my dance workshop and studio shoot.

On another note, I had a rather interesting revelation of sorts today. I don't know why, but it seems that if I'm talking and i look into a girl's eyes, somehow it causes the person to feel that i like her or i'm flirting with her. Well then, if i lower my glance i'll be looking at her chest, and then i'll be labeled as a pervert. However, if i totally avoid looking at the person and just keep my eyes on the wall behind or on the table in front of me, it'll seem rather rude and impolite when the person is talking to me and i don't bother to make eye-contact. Win already, i never knew talking to the opposite gender was so complicated.

I never knew my gaze was so 'intense', as though everytime i look at a girl's eyes means that there are hidden meanings inside it. I'm not really looking for a girlfriend or sth right now, so why would I want to flirt or get all the girls to fall for me.. Plus I wear glasses most of the time, hardly wear contacts nowadays so by right i should have smaller eyes, lesser effect cos of lower surface area. lol..

Very easy, the next alternative would be to totally avoid communicating with girls and just talk to guys. Easy-peasy. But nope, tourism has like 27 guys to 73 girls, there will come occasions when i have to work with or talk to the ladies. Not really feasible to try to do projects, presentations, have lunch with purely guys. Win already, if that's the case then everyone will think i'm so handsome and that i'm trying to flirt with them. Or, they'll think that i'm a pervert who avoids making eye contact and looks at their chests, or that i'm so arrogant and proud that i don't have the basic courtesy to acknowledge the person but just keep staring at the walls.

Are my eyes really that powerful, just 1 look and the whole world falls for me? Reminds me of sec sch when joshua had the ''i snap my fingers, all the girls come to me'' LOL.. wm.d, i think i should quit sch and join an all-boys polytechnic. hur hur hur.

Camp and D-Emphasis and follow-up training coming up, silly me i should have remembered to do up my PEPSI training plans earlier. sighzxczxc

Tourism Law today was intense, to say the least. Quite interesting though, to see how much of it makes common sense that the ordinary kid in me already had a certain sense of right and wrong, fairness and injustice. Add that to the symbolic principle of "If there are laws, there must also be a moral lawgiver". True, our laws come from the Government and lawyers, but they are human too just like me, and there must be a Someone out there who gave us a conscience and an innate balance plate of what is right and what is wrong. The concept of Intelligent Design and how so many things fall into place surprisingly nicely, all fitting together.

Went for Founder's Day Thanksgiving Dinner, good time to catch up with all my BB mates from good ol' kranji sec. Talked a lot, delved into some tricky areas too. lol.

They found out that I'm now a BB officer, had quite a few reactions, to say the least. Kind of saddens me when they realised that one requirement to become an officer is that you have to be a Christian, at least 18 years old. Some of the primers' faces fell, cos they wanted to come and serve the Boys, but were not willing to know Jesus as their personal Lord and Saviour. It's like they are caught halfway and have to now struggle with this 'barrier' in their BB life.

Well, I did share with them that the reason for officers being Christian was to ensure that the officers, as the topmost leaders of the company, need to have similar values and goals to work towards to. One of which was to impart Christian values and principles, if one is not a believer, yes it is possible to impart good values, but that's what other CCAs are doing - NCC, NPCC, etc. What makes The Boys' Brigade different is that it's an organisation which openly recognizes its guidance from the Word of God and seeks to impart these insights to the Boys. If there were people of many different beliefs all trying to lead the Boys, then that would make BB about the same as all the other uniformed groups out there.

I don't know, so many issues popping here and there. I got mixed reactions too when i told other groups of people that I was now an officer, especially since i'm like same age or even younger, lol. Well, yes you can argue that hey it's just a rank, what matters more is the time and effort spent investing and interacting with the Boys. Titles and stuff like 'Sir' are just formalities and not the main core of the whole BB movement, right? I dunno, am i too immature to have become an officer at a ripe old age of only 18?
If i had known that just taking this added title would have caused people to stumble or elicit certain emotions, i would just be contented being a happy little Primer with one stripe. haha..

Well, what's done is done. If God has placed me here, i know it's not by chance or luck, and I might as well make the most of it, tio bo. As said in Romans 8, all things will eventually work out for the good of those who love God, those who are called according to His purposes. No more human wisdom, I'll just leave my master plans to my Master's plans.

Today, i is be tired. Thoroughly tonked, like my old friend. I don't know why, just felt totally drained, didn't go to prayer meeting either. What the speaker said made some sense, go to meetings and events not to show off that one is more spiritual or mature, but to have the correct motives. Just as well, if i had gone i guessed i would have kind of fallen asleep - not very good huh.

Anyway, I did a "complex" poem today, as instructed by the Drama & Poetry teacher. Quite a departure from my usual whimsical poems/ entertaining limericks, felt kind of weird when reading my finished poem and it didn't make me smile. Maybe too complex and emo already. Ah well, if she likes serious stuff, then might as well make her happy. That could also be why I feel so drained and pffft~ It is truly harder to come up with emo poems, especially when it goes against my handsomely happy nature. lol..

Tomorrow got Tourism Law, win already. That's like the most intensive module I've come across - the very first lecture exceeded by 15mins. First lecture leh, supposed to be just the 'basic' introduction. The terms are quite interesting though, quite useful to play with.

On another note, sometimes being too much of a wordsmith is no use when the people are not eloquent or inclined to hear what one is trying to bring across. Tough to find positively endowed and talented people on similar wavelengths, aye.

Had a chat with wanzhen recently. I realized that we haven't met up and not seen each other in like 2 years, only communicating sporadically during birthdays and holidays. Time flies indeed, talking to her reminds me of the latter years of sec sch, especially how both of us have grown up and matured considerably. Smarter and wiser and able to handle the tricky intricacies in life. REALLY la, i isn't kidding. hahaha u know what i mean. Plus she's one of the very few that I managed to really push the boundaries so far and talk comfortably about almost anything under the sun, including 'miss me okay?'. lol.. Really la, i is ironed nicely and swept past it liao.

And not to forget, lynn is a naughty girl at times, but i still love her in the same way she puts up oh-so-sweetly with my many ill-conceived actions and blunders. Hahaha..

On another note, school 'officially' starts tomorrow since the 1st week was pretty much lectures to give us some content, only starting tutorials in week 2. Looks kinda heavy, got 3 projects on the horizon, I think we might be in for some extra good news tomorrow. Not bad la, at least we have like golf workshop, spa treatments, wine and cheese visits all in the name of "Spa and Lifestyle Management". To be able to understand what your customers are paying for, you need to experience what they go through and then recreate that handsomely happy feeling for them. It's a paraphrase of what was taught, but that's the whole essence of learning to show that you've totally internalized it. hur hur hur.

Oh, went to 'tong' token today with claire today, i still can't believe it's October. And that 28th of October is almost here, with November, December, and then happy new year looming round the corner. hey, that rhymes. lolol

Still got camp some more. This sentence reminds me of almost exactly the same time last year once i took up the post of coordinator. Waves of nostalgia are sweeping over me, wheee. Time to rock, let's see what the morrow brings. il est italien? mon ami, mon pere, ma mere.

"Do something that scares you." I thought it was rather funny, yet true when sissy 1st told me about it. Held me in good stead, I've gone out of my comfort zone and done so many things that i never thought i would. Coordinating the GAMpong camp last year, going to a new class, and so many areas which God used to teach and humble. Many a times, it's easy for us to have the tendency to think that we can do almost anything, but well, it's in the lowest valleys where we can truly see the height of the mountains.
the list kind of includes 'self-pawn' as joshua told me after i did a few stunts, but ah well, u never know till you've gone out and boomz it all up. LOL..

Anyway, I've resolved it more or less. I think.

Sometimes, I just wonder why some girls cannot be like lynn. There's the whole host of naivety and this and that and being too caught up in their own world to feel the ground around. Haha, see i so good say u until like that. Thing is, it's kinda true, plus i learnt more from her than any other girl i've met so far. If only I could find a future wife like that (but u know i know we both will just go and accompany each other for Project Bethany 2060 in the worst case scenario, haha).

Dunno la, it kind of saddens me to see that the really 'good girls' are few and far between out there. even lynn is a naughty girl at times. HAHAHA =D
Don't even think about going next level to girlfriend or whatever, being friends is already so complicated with all the differing values systems and stuff. But hey, that's the fun in life. The whole world seeks instant gratification, but many a times delayed gratification is often worth the wait. Wait and see huh.

it's 2.40am, i realised the whole thing is a mumbled jumble, doesn't really flow well or make much sense together. It seems like it is still rather incoherent though. If u feel delighted or upset about it, well, don't be. lol..

1st week of school no tutorials, that's half the time shaved off so I effectively have half a week of pure lectures. nvm about the other stuff la, sounds emo ah time will mould over and clear up everything, like how i hiccuped and learnt much in lower sec. hehs.

Went to blog-hop around, I realized that other blogs indicate a link to this one, and I didn't even know that, gosh. When I first started this blog with xindi's help, it was kind of meant to be somewhat low-key with only a handful of people reading it. In the end, I got linked in so many different areas that argh, never mind, congrats on even finding your way here. lol.. So much for trying to keep a low profile huh.

Well well, at least I kind of foresaw this happening with the advent of the internet and explosive broadband access to almost everyone I know and made plans. Just as well that I started adding layers and making some of the contents somewhat esoteric so that if you know, you know. If you don't know, er, check a dictionary i guess, haha.. Still, I'm not quite prepared to let go of my nice hermit-like privacy, so I won't be broadcasting this address all over my msn and facebook and the like.

This has always been to serve as a journal (hence the name livejournal!) and to log down my thoughts, not so much to satisfy or show off the narcissist side of me. Too bad, there aren't colorful pictures or big shiny oooh things. I like reading and writing, it has always been therapeutic for me and I'm perfectly comfortable having with a huge wall of text on my computer screen. If cannot, then sry lor go stick with cartoons or comics and stuff if words aren't your cup of tea.

There, disclaimer shown to all who have found their way here, by the numerous links and signs pointing the way to this previously secluded spot. hur hur hur

School is starting. Thus ends 7 weeks of a fun holiday, once again. I'm both excited for and dreading school at the same time, with the influx of projects, work, ministry and stuff. Time of my life, aye.

On another note, come ah. u can buay song, i cannot buay song ah. basket banana, come la we buay song until the cows come home la..talk so much, behave like the whole world bully and abuse you like that.. no doubt, i know there are times when me and u did some dumb and unwise stuff, but this is hardly the mature way regarding conflict resolution. more like cornflakes resolution if u ask me.. buay song then too bad lor, so emo dont want to do anything just sulk and stone there.. like that u win liao lor, wat is u expecting me to do when ur mouth is shut half the time.. whatever man dots diao. this translates to wm.d, LOL

too bad if u isn't wanting to do anything about it. so much for what we all learn huh, when the rubber meets the road and things get unpleasant.. it seems like u just hum off and retreat into an emo corner to sit there and become so sad. in the words of warrant officer guan boon: "u think u king, i think u weak."
u want to emo and buay song, go ahead lor.. i alr tried, if u nt happy and wait for me to keep taking the 1st step, well, all good things come to an end. time for me to stop and for u to start. dontwant ah, what can i do, im not the emo one avoiding and being so hum correct anot. im the type that talks things thru face to face, im sick and tired of trying to read body language and signs and hints.. big deal ah, without u the whole world has to stop revolving.. basket, dontwant then donwant la, if u refuse to sit down and settle it amicably and wholeheartedly, then might as well dont even start in the 1st place if ur attitude is not 100%..this kind of half-baked effort who likes sia.. buay song then come ah. i isnt happy, u nt, then how..

if i'm wrong..well, i hope i'm wrong and this is all a misunderstanding on my part. but things are not sometimes not what they seem, and i don't know. i really don't know and i'm tired of trying to figure out silent hints.

sometimes, it is difficult to walk the walk you talk huh, both for me and for you.

Oh ho, time flies like an arrow, while fruit flies like a banana. I just saw the light of the 2 meanings associated with this, lol.

I got me my very first pair of havaianas slippers after we've been talking about it for so long, haha. It fits very snugly, but i'm kinda worried i'll grow out of it seeing as how i'm aging so furiously - I just had a back ache and headache the other day. Black and gold, she thought it was rather appropriate for me. Funky huh, lolol..

Camp was rather insightful to say the least; the first night was already a solid one on being captivated by the beauty and power of the gospel, and knowing what amazing grace is. After being a Christian for so long, it's sometimes easy to just get hardened and think of it as a past action, forgetting that the way has been opened once and for all freely for those who seek. Quite good to see tom there, didn't really expect him to go since he had totally zero background of campus crusade, while at least lois had cheryl and eliza.

The people there changed sia, I realised I didn't recognize half the faces there after my hiatus. Well, there was yvonne and eliza and chih chiang, so still okay though. In the same vein, it's kind of interesting to be on the receiving end as normal camper after planning so many camps. This different perspective also offered me quite a good insight on how it feels when the timing got kind of rubbery and people were late, causing everything to be pushed back and just ripple out like dominoes. Got to know many people better, oh and there was something familiar about sherry, it's like she reminds me of something/ someone but i just cant put my finger on it. Ah well, i'll put here first n see if i can rmb later on.

Had the D-Pillar meeting tonight, covered quite a few issues. I'm gonna have a chunky monkey on my hands to deal with, especially when school reopens in like 2 days! Handsomely done my friend, we is going to be having tons of excitement and funs.

Just came back from the fun-fun bbq gathering. Tony organized it cos we were having holidays, lol. I'm supposed to sleep now because I have a bb primers-officers meeting later at 8.30am, but my stomach is still churning all the chilli and chicken. It's been a long time since I ate chilli until I was almost delirious, happy sia. Only thing is that the side effects are something to be reckoned with.

Most probably going to buy each other our birthday slippers for Sept and Oct, I still like how we have this unique way of giving gifts, similar to the red adidas shirts of 9* and 10*.

Ah, I only have about 6 hours of sleep left. Maybe I should cut down slightly on my chilli intake. I calculated, I eat about 3 chilli padi a week, with my soups and noodles and stuff. This is in addition to sambal chilli in dishes like nasi lemak, chilli sauce with Mcdonalds' fries, and all the works. I think when I die, people will remember me for being a really hot guy. LOL.. On another note, the 'hottest ymh' didnt come today even though her house was just next door, maybe cos she was too warm in her signature jacket which she wears so very often. That was a classic joke huh.

Gosh it's past 1am, I need to sleep, I think I'll just lie on my bed and close my eyes and stay absolutely still. Did that as a kid, wonder if it works aye.

It is October, and my birthday has just come and passed. This is always the time of my life, when all the end of year camps and meetings and events all pack themselves into a full schedule. This year will be especially poignant, even as I go through the hum-drum of everything as a man. 18 years old, legal already, in ''cinema terms'' I am now considered 'Mature 18'.

Ah. Whenever my birthday passes, it means that the year is about to come to an end. Time flies huh,  January and February feels so recent and yet distant at the same time. Anyway, I realised that I ushered in my birthday while playing dota. I finished the game about 1am like that on the 6th of October morning. Rather symbolic huh, it feels like I brought some semblance of my childhood and fun in my transition growing up into 18. I dont' care, I'm gonna continue watching power rangers and pokemon and read my books and lie on my bed doing nothing and just daydreaming of the sun and sky and animals and birds and all the whatnot that came with being a kid!

After that, woke up and went to city hall to meet the rest, then took a looong train ride to pasir ris where we were to spend the night in a chalet. Thing is, we hadn't booked the chalet yet, so we processed it through city hall's AXS machine at 2.34pm. We reached the downtown east chalet and checked in at 4.05pm! Almost instant check-in, I'm glad I learnt about the guests' rights when doing leisure bookings for accommodation. Partly also cos all 3 of them were Nebo members, mine had expired and I didn't have the time to renew it yet.

Went for lunch at 4pm, more like tunch - tea+lunch. Some exceedingly peppery bak kut teh, got kick but I thought it was too much and distorted the taste of the pork. Redeemed my birthday frappes from Mcdonalds, apparently the guy didn't stamp so I ended up with 2 frappes, mocha and double chocolate, birthday surprise huh. Went back to slack and play poker with peanuts, I was the overall winner with a profit of 150%, my side of the bed overflowed with peanuts. Hahaha.. Watched some tv, joshua wanted to see felicia chin on tv, then we set off on our rented bikes to changi village - cost me $15 for an overnight lease.

The bike ride was gay, it's been like 2 years since I last really rode a bike and I had some trouble negotiating the uphill portions, but I didn't stop to push, yay. Finally reached the village 45 minutes later, ordered the famous nasi lemak since it was 11pm and there wasn't much of a long queue which would have been there if not for it being 11pm at night. Got the lala and some kailan too, not bad the garlic was quite well done and helped to accentuate the flavour of the dishes. Rode back, handsome sia all of us took off our shirts and rode down the slope singing ''We are Singapore!". When we finally reached the chalet it was around 1am, and we sat down to sore butts and legs after the intense ride when it was supposed to be a leisurely one, lol.

Played indian poker and had some bacardi, tasted like medicine I think I still prefer the breezer which is infinitely more flavourful and less icky than the superior. After that, ate the chips and then we slept at 3am, only to wake up at 9.45 later to return the bikes, but the uncle was not there. Returned to the chalet to pack up, checked out at 10.30 and rested our still woozy legs after the previous night of cycling. Went to Wild Wild Wet, it was my first time there ever. Paid $4 only cos we had a discount from the chalet booking, but the themed rides weren't as fantastic as I had envisioned them to be. Ah well, just as well we paid $4, if it were full price of $11 I would be heartbroken.

Changed, did up my Nebo membership at $20 for 3 years. I already broke even with a one-year membership where I made full use of Cathay Cineplexes' discounts, Zone X's 50% discounts, and now 3 years for the same price beckons to an even brighter future!
Went home, slept awhile, had pizza hut dinner to celebrate mine and my dad's birthday which was just one day after mine. Handsomely done, but one niggling feeling was that the holidays were about to come to an end, left one more week only.

Like ol' Julius my friend, Veni Vidi Vici - I came, I saw, I conquered. Time for me to go and spelar lite Dota.

Went for BB Officers and Primers dinner tonight, steamboat at the same place where the 4 of us went previously, and surprisingly they still have chilli crab.

I still don't feel like turning 18. Lol =.=  Ah well, 'tis been somewhat of a struggle these few days, grappling with issues and trying to see things from a different perspective, from God's perspective. What I do in these 70-90 years will affect what comes in eternity - thousands of years after this lifetime.

I see the King of glory coming on the clouds with fire; the whole earth shakes.
I see His love and mercy washing over all our sin; the people sing.
I see a generation rising up to take their place with selfless faith.
I see a near revival stirring as we pray and seek - we're on our knees. Heal my heart and make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen and show me how to love like You have loved me. Break my heart with what breaks Yours - everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause as I go from nothing to Eternity.

Credits to Hillsongs, God has indeed inspired them to a certain extent.

Right, I want to be part of this next generation rising up, even as we know that the church is always just one generation away from extinction. If that generation of people lose their passion, then there won't be anyone else aye.

Well well, my master plans or my Master's plans?

Wednesday was supposed to be the day for felix to come visit, but he got turned down because of immigration issues. It's quite a pity come to think of it - being refused and having to go back, I would be extremely disappointed if it were me. Ah well, God allows things to happen for a reason, just pray and hope that he'll be okay with this. Especially since he doesn't really earn that much as compared to us in Singapore, it's really saddening to think of the whole ordeal he had to go through. Godspeed my friend.

Had my Interdisciplinary Studies enrolment today, I landed myself Drama-Poetry and Perspectives on China. Drama-Poetry was one of the few on my list, but Perspectives on China was really because there was no other choice and all the other electives were full. Right, we'll see what God has in store for me to learn from there, aye.

To date, I haven't made my sambal chili. I must get cracking, especially with the tentative birthday chalet for the 4 of us looming on the near horizon. 'Tis the first day of October today, school is approaching. And I haven't gotten enough out of my holidays, yet.

Wahey, I just got 4 in a row with my Invoker. Even higher than Triple, it's called Ultra kill. Icefrog changed the scoring huh. Been a long time since I got that, especially with my good ol' friend Kael. yayness. We still lost though, the Techies had slightly faster fingers and pulled off more tricks to push into our base. But still, song song this is really a respectable gg - good game, had the time of my life indeed.

Well well, thus marks the end of 8 weeks of my Basic Officers' Training Course. I'm barely 18, yet I'm already on my way to becoming a full-fledged officer of The Boys' Brigade. It's good in a sense that I'm more empowered, I'm in a position to shape policies and play a more significant role in the teenage years of Boys where they are the most impressionable - with great potential for both good and bad. I should know, I was once like that till I joined the BB and grew and matured alot there.

My 18th birthday is coming real soon, but I don't feel very excited. The past few days have been filled with emotions and thoughts roiling and churning in my mind, maybe that explains why I feel so emozxcxz. lol.. When I hit 18, there goes 17 years of childhood and fun and power rangers and kiddy stuff - I will be a young adult, and then a real grown-up adult 3 years later at 21.

17 years of running around, watching pokemon, getting into fights and quarrels, dreaming of becoming a power ranger with my very own thunder megazord.  Then going to primary sch then secondary sch. The last time I got into a real fight was like 6 or 7 years ago, I still remember I got counselling because I injured someone rather badly - in primary school.  =.=  Looking back, I've grown and matured and I haven't maliciously punched anyone since then. On the contrary, I got beat up instead during the whole hong fei hong saga. The whole irony of it huh.Of course, who doesn't want to stay like a kid forever and just live in the protective cocoon of your family. That was where the hardest decision I had to make was something like whether or not to watch pokemon or curl up with a book, not like now where there're projects and ministry and mentoring; investing and playing a role in other people's lives.

Nowadays, I find myself thinking ahead, planning my future with as much foresight as possible with aspirations and visions of where I want to go; what I want to do and the like. Thoughts about my working career - whether my calling is in the secular marketplace or in full-time ministry, becoming an evangelist, or Bible translator, pastor, to the business world of an executive, travel planner, and so on.

Interestingly enough, I've also somehow started thinking and praying for God to show me a partner. There have been times when I've so many things swirling in my mind, when I'm just overflowing and feel like sharing my dreams and excitement and doubts with a soul-mate; a girlfriend-wife; a helper and a life partner. Of course, there are friends to confide in and share with, though the notion of a spouse and an equally-yoked soul-mate is another thing altogether. But this is when I realize my physical body is still young - I'm not even 18 years old yet (October is quite a late month of the year). LOL..

I'm still studying, I don't have money to buy a house or start a family, I haven't done my NS,  I don't have much 'worldly' qualifications except an O Levels certificate. I have goals and aspirations to make a difference, to be a history-maker for the Miracle-Maker, to make an impact on the world in a lifetime of less than a 100 years. It's like my mind is seemingly older and more advanced beyond my physical years, and I'm not exactly sure if this is a good or bad thing.

Times of movements and transitions like these are exciting, and I pray that I will be able to embrace the winds of change and age gracefully. I know that God has put me here in this time for a reason, and I should indeed walk in a manner worthy of the calling that I have received - for school, ministry and life.

Have fun comrade, this looks set to be the time of your life.

And yay I managed to make it into 不能说的秘密. Chinese was kinda tough, at least I learnt French in np and used it into le secret indicible.

*Edit: Oh dear, my translating secret got me into a thorny situation, being too vague doesn't really help at times. LOL..  I think I should log this down and remind myself to avoid accidentally creating any more stunts like this in future. gg alr win la you

Lewis Hamilton won the Singtel Singapore Grand Prix.  To think that I was in his Vodafone McLaren Mercedes VIP Paddock Club Suite last year. If only he had won this race 1 year earlier, then I would have had some chance of getting extra tips while working as a waiter from all the happy McLaren fans in the VIP Suite. Rich fans who paid $7000+ for a single ticket. LOL..

Quest Review is over, hope they had a good time of reflection. Mine was a rather poignant one, especially since my scope questioned the sufficiency of our youths with regards to God's Word, and whether they have enough stored to feed both themselves as well as others around them. When, not if, a famine comes, do we have the grain, beloved? Touched also on narrow vs wide gate; few find the way to life while broad is the way to destruction. My heart sinks when I know of some who might just be heading for an eternity without knowing or having a personal relationship with Christ. God is sovereign and in control, just do your best and He will take care of the rest.

The most beautiful thing was not the rainy day, it was the eaves where we once took shelter from the rain. When one lets go of love, one will be able to walk further for this autumn season. I discovered pieces of this happiness only after they floated down; how am I going to pick them up? This is what happens when the cold coffee leaves the coaster, when your feelings are held back.
piao niao niao niao, dum dum dum dum dum. I think I could try learning the electric guitar, provided I have the means to do so. Hehs..

In the same way, this is the secret that cannot be spoken. Not bad huh, cryptic chronicling with esoteric flourishes. Credits to LJpopped too. I never thought I would live to see this day, thoroughly thought-provoking indeed.

On another note, I now have quite a bit to mull over in terms of career, love, studies-school. Especially after kelvin knew that I went out with lois. Lol.. Ah well, know that God will never shortchange you, and if He has the best in mind, there really isn't much to be worried about. Coming up will be more planning for D-Emphasis as well as trying out the new chilli recipe, hope it works. teeheehee

Astons was not bad, the prime ribeye really came out medium-rare. It's been such a long time since I had a proper steak from a proper outlet, no matter how humble its facade might have been - the proof was in the food indeed. Then joshua had a bright idea to go joo koon's Arena Country Club to find some outlet to play pool. I also had a bright idea and led us straight, only to realise that we should have taken a turn earlier.

Just as well, a nice warm walk to sweat off the food huh. 'Tis been eons since I last played pool, I realised I didn't even touch a cue in the last 6 months - a whole semester of school. Of course, turned out really rusty, could only get like half of my shots on target lol.

Win liao lor, do this kind of thing. Now how to untangle it sia. I'm bound to get a big bunch of flak for this. Well, at least it's a good lesson on how to find discerning vessels to engage in prim and proper conversation, one who is sufficiently prudent and wise.

How can one be a hero, if one does not read The Three Kingdoms? Apt lyrics from China and Cao Cao, I do concur with that.

What's the world coming to, is it really so hard to find a decent intellectual to converse and extrapolate? And thereafter to do this without any niggling thoughts of repercussions and the whole list of fireworks that happens when something goes awry.

Time to pray, as was wisely said - it is never too early to seek God.

Past few days passed in a jolly blur. Monday had my grandparents over at my house, went to jurong point to try the chinese restaurant, not bad sia the xiao long bao $4.50 for a set of 5, quite reasonable considering it's a semi-swanky restaurant. After that went home, fried pancakes and invited them to sample the chocolate and strawberry ice-cream; which my mum was inspired to do also lol. Surprisingly, they thought that my chocolate wasn't extremely sweet, seems like I'm just the emo one that is affected by my own 'extra-sweet' ice-cream made by myself  =.=

Tuesday was a short respite, though the officers' training was strangely more exhausting than previous weeks' sessions. Finished up the book review of Sir William Alexander Smith, the Founder of The Boys' Brigade. Rather inspiring to see how from one man, with the help of his supportive wife and 3 good friends, going on to start the very first uniformed group in the world, right in 1883. Even the Scouts came from Baden Powell who was attracted by the potential and success of the BB Companies, and started the Scouts later in 1907. Quite sad to say there's a deviation with less emphasis on Christian values and influence there now huh. NPCC and NCC no need say, all came later lol. At the end of my life, will I leave a similar legacy, starting a work with potential enough to last through well over a century, 126 years to be exact. Inspiring for me indeed.

Wednesday, woke up at 1140, nice and on time to enrol in my next semester's timetable. This time do stunt again, my com lagged and couldnt access npal perhaps cos there were too many people like me trying to get a slot of their choice. In the end, i gave lynette my school password and she got me into tr05, same as the rest now. Well well, seems like this sem i'll be with more familiar faces, will see what God has in store for me aye.

After that, went to get lois' helium balloon, then went to The Cathay to get tickets for g-force. The Cathay again, both of us like realised it's the 2nd time we were there together. Funny show, though I think the prices were higher cos it was in 3-D like that also must charge  =.=  Ah well, since 'twas to celebrate our birthdays so nvm lor. Went to hand in our camp registration forms to the campus crusade camp comm, will be interesting to see how they run a youth Bible camp. After she had her fun with the balloon and movie, went to 'jalan-jalan' in her words. Looking back, we walked from dhoby gaut to selegie road then took bus to chijmes-city hall and then train to novena. When we could have taken the train from dhoby gaut. LOL. Maybe cos we were too indecisive, plus somebody forgot her way to bras basah, coupled with equally insufficient knowledge from me, so we went on a big merry-go-round which was a delightful accompaniment to my aching legs from the day before, hehs.

Not bad la, at least we had some fruitful conversation on a range of topics, even covering true love between some likely/ unlikely couples. Hahaha.. Well well, the doors that God opens no one can close; and the doors that God closes no one can open. We'll see what happens in the next few years, hur hur hur. Oh yeah, we finally had dinner at fish n co, nice place havent been there in ages and i was kinda missing the food. Though we killed a fishy or two, but nvm la. Bought her dinner since she bought me the tickets, and then we went home after that and she gave me a rather interesting revelation which I had previously written off as impossible. True love, right.. haha. Anyway, happy birthday to us although it's interesting to be celebrating it together in September when ours is both in oct, but oct sch reopen alr.

Tomorrow, or rather today going Astons at jurong east (like finally) although justin won't be free, wonder if the smaller outlet tastes as good as the larger and swankier ones.

My ice-cream turned out too sweet. Eat can get high one, not for the faint-hearted or those with low sugar thresholds. Sweet yet bitter at the same time cos I used dark chocolate, so we had bittersweet ice-cream. Good timing too, decided to have it on my parents' 20th wedding anniversary. Next one I'm gonna try is strawberry. Then maybe durian if I can find some funding and the associated recipe.

Exam results are coming out in a few hours time! Ah well, I've done my best and whatever the results, it's all in God's good timing. Even if I do end up as a roadsweeper, well, it's best if it's in the centre of God's will.

Time is running out, on my check-list I have D-Emphasis, Quest Review for ymh, DG with the guys, sourcing for Follow-up, planning for YM in 2010, gym, BOTC, more ice-cream, 4 books to devour, go out with different groups of ppl, oh and I've got my birthday to celebrate on Oct 6. LOL.. This is a busy time to have my holidays, and I doubt I can get the F1 already, no1 activated me sia. Just as well, I was kinda reluctant especially if it meant burning up a Sunday.

Now let me get my inspiration, so far ogre magi and shendelzare silkwood have been rather interesting.

I did my ice-cream today, like yay! Finally, on the 3rd week of holidays. 3rd week alr sia, almost half gone and I'm barely done with my list of items. Decided to try double chocolate, turned out very sweet and yet also bitter cos I used the good ol' dark chocolate, coupled with the called-for 100g of caster sugar and generous amounts of chocolate chips. Looked kinda intimidating in the beginning but aiyah, just follow and in the end I spent a whole 7 hours, from 2pm-9pm, although half of the time was for it to chill; whisk, then chill-freeze again. It's freezing inside now, I hope it turns out okay. 3 egg yolks, 100g of caster sugar, 150g of dark chocolate, 300ml cream, 200ml milk. Handsome la, sure eat and grow fat.

On another note, before one calls in an air strike, you have to open the silos first. Anyway, I'm determined to go gym tomorrow and perhaps expend some of it with the treadmill, the cathartic effects have always been poignantly significant.